Jane is 5.

Five.

An entire hand.

Five little fingers.

Our big baby weighing in at 9 lbs 11oz is growing into a big girl. Having Jane was a lot different from our first two. My heart ached from before she was born and then throughout the past five years due to some emotional occurrences.

My oldest brother, Paul, had a terrible fall in 2018 and has been immobile ever since. I dealt with some pretty significant baby blues for almost a year after giving birth. Jane had an allergic reaction just shy of 11 months old and while she was struggling to breathe I prayed and prayed as doctors and nurses rushed to her aide. Covid hit. My Aunt Pat passed away in 2021. My beloved cat, Nubs, whom I absolutely adored passed away on Eliza’s 9th birthday. And as if my heart couldn’t handle another heartache, my Dad passed away in 2022. It’s been THE absolute hardest and stressful five years of my life.

I don’t ask for or seek pity, but instead I try to find strength through the happy days, the memories, forgiveness, kindness and moving forward as best as I know how and to live for those who are no longer here.

Jane has helped me along the way, in more ways than I ever could’ve known and more than I could’ve realized. She helped me out of bed when I didn’t think I could step one foot on the ground, she made me laugh when I didn’t think I remembered how, she brought appreciation through her innocence of the lack of understanding the sadness that surrounded me.

Oh my sweet, sweet, Jane. It’s been one uphill battle for your Mama, but thank you for keeping me trudging through the most difficult of times… You deserve countless kisses, hugs and snuggles.

My lovely Jane,

You make me laugh. You’re so silly and full of endless questions. More times than not, while driving through town, you ask me questions until we arrive at our destination only to continue your inquisitiveness once the doors to the car open again. You say my name 872 times a day and you constantly tell me, “You’re the best mom ever,” when I know full well that I wouldn’t be winning any parenting awards. You rock at affirmations. You love worms, but you’re not a fan of spiders. You hug my dad when he appears as a rainbow on the wall as the sun sends its prisms into our home. “Mom! I’m hugging your Dad,” you always say. You’re a caretaker at school and you absolutely love to play and include others. You’re generous and you share. You’re already giving the shirt off your back. You have a giving heart. You’re cheerful, sweet and empathetic. Oh I’m so proud of you, my sweet girl. Daddy is so very proud, too. Daddy calls you his, “Papa Nana,” we’re unsure of where the nickname originated and sometimes you don’t care for it, but you’ll always be our little, “Papa.”

Daddy adores you.

You love to sing and dance and you skip EVERYWHERE you go. Never stop skipping. Skip everywhere and everyday, my little Janie. Happily skip when others don’t. Happily skip when others need it, just like you have for me. Keep skipping and don’t let anyone or anything ever dull your little bounce in life. We love you, Jane Kathryn. You make us happy when skies are gray and you’re one of our favorite things. Love you to the moon. Thank you for being you. Ugga Mugga.

Happy 5th Birthday!

Love, Mama

I’m linking up with Hello Monday.